Monday, September 26

Namarie! :-(

I'm leaving for Haflinger Nationals tomorrow. i'm just writing this realy quick. I probably won't have time to get on again before i leave. I'll be back next Sunday. I'll miss you guys!
*the innocent can never last*
Rochwen Eldariel

Saturday, September 24

*sigh* :-)

i'm at the holland library. i love the library!! absolutely love it!! i could and would live here if they let me. did i mention how much i love this library on WEEKENDS?? no. well, i love this library on weekends! you know why? maybe, maybe not. because on weekends there is not school, and when there is no school no one gets tutored. isn't that wonderful?? yes, it is wonderful. life is wonderful. fall is wonderful. this library is wonderful. my life is wonderful. *sigh* i love you guys!

so, yesterday when i was at the [maumee] library i was reading the magazine Seventeen. like i said, i might as well live at the library cause i'm there so much. anyhow, i like to read Teen People and Seventeen and all those other crap magazines occasionaly just so i can gag at the awful "fashions" that people are wearing and be thankful that i don't care about fashion since it is so appalling. well, there was this question and answer column and this girl wrote in asking the following question: I am 13 and my best friend is 12. we really love our boyfriends. we want to have sex with them. we would use a condom, is this alright?

OH





MY





GOD





CAN




YOU




BELIEVE




THAT????




it's absolutely appalling!!! disgusting!! ewe!! it's just gross!! besides the fact that it's illegal to have sex until you are 16 and condoms don't 100% protect you from STDs and getting pregnant. ugh!! it's just NOT RIGHT!! i hardly even thought about sex when i was 12!! what is the world coming to??? i think i'm going to find myself a nice cave out west, far from any civilization of any kind, and spend my life-alone-living off the land and meditating in hope of finding the purpose to life, the universe.... and everything.

*the innocent can never last*

Rochwen Eldariel

Thursday, September 15

The Path

I am walking down a path...
There are forks and intersections often...
I have to choose which one to take and it is not always easy.
Some start out bright and sunny, but lead to darkness; others start out dark and lead to sunlight.
Sometimes I walk with my friends, and sometimes-in darkness-I walk alone.
Once I start down a path it fades away behind me; there is no turning back.
If I make a mistake the path will lead deep into a dark forest and I will be lost; alone.
Other times the path is straight and clear before me, and there are friends by my side.
And yet... even in darkness and confusion-if I am watching-I will find a ray of sun piercing the thickness of the unfriendly trees.
If I am open I will never be alone...
Thank you, my rays of sunshine...

Sunday, September 11

The Daydream of a Free Mind

January, and still no snow fell. It did not seem right that it should be so cold but we still had not had snow. It didn't seemfair to have cold but not snow. Still, it was the new year and I was determined that something new, something exciting, would happen to me this year.
She must have seen the slightly forlorn look on my face when she came to pick up my brother. "Why don't you come to our house and skate too?" she asked, "I'm sure the boys will be gentle with you."
I grinned, it was answer enough but i added, "I'd love to!" just for good measure.
Teh boys were playing ice hockey when we arrived. There must have been 6 or 7 of them... i don't really remember. I had eyes only for one: Dave. Oh he was georgious! Ice blue eyes with hair the color of the winter sun; he made up for all the snow I had missed that year.
When I arrived the boys crowded aroun me, handing me skates and a hockeystick, despite my protests; I did NOT ply hockey. "Oh, it's easy!" they laughed. Dave's ice blue eyes glinted cheerfuly at me. I sighed inwardly. They proceeded to explain all at once the many rules of hockey. I didn't get any of them.
At leas I knew how to skate. Quite well actually, even if I did say it myself. Once I was on the ice the hockey game resumed, with boys and black pucks flying by. Numerous times the disc came spinning towards me, the boys yelling for me to hit it, and as i would (gracefully) jump out of the way they would groan.
Finally I hit it, again. And Again! I was laughing, whirring across the ice, sending the puck spinning. It was fun and I was good at it.
Once the boys realized I was decent at this game they stopped being so gentle. They would swoop in next to me, snatching the puck from my posession and grinning triumphantly, bear it away. I had seen the cocky grin one too many times on Dave's face when I stuck my stick out, just as he was gliding by. He tripped, began to fall forward, attempted to steady himself and went over backwards.
"Are you alright?" I cried, attempting to feign concern.
"Yes, I'm fine." He grunted as he looked up from the ice, his eyes pierced mind and he saw several things. Or so I believe, because as I offered my hand to help him up I caught a gleam of mischief in his eyes and a twitch of a grin on his lips. but it was too late, he help my hand quite firmly. then he gave a quick, hard tuga and i came down quite hard on the ice beside him.
He then placed one hand on either side of me and leaning over me said, "That is foul play." I could feel his breath on my face he was so close.
I was about to stutter out some excuse or something when he leaned even closer and his lips brushed mine. Then they came again, firmer and yet softer. I put my arms around him and pulled him to me. I was warm all over despite the cold ice against my back. His kisses were fiercer, like fiery ice. Then he stopped.
"No, don't stop." I whispered.
Then I heard laughter and catcalls. "Hmm," i thought, "Perhaps this is not the best place to be kissing. Dave Scrambled to his feet and pulled me up. He then marched me off the rink. We undid our skates in silence and slipped on our boots. He took my hand again nad led me into their dense pine forest.
It seemed warmer in here. The pine needles were springy under foot and crackled cheerfully. I was somewhat in shock. I wasn't really sure if this was really happening or if I would wake up and it would all just be a dream.
We had come to a clearing. He faced me and looked at me deeply.
"This is what you want?" he asked.
"yes." I replied.
We kissed as the snow began to fall.
* * *
After I went home I felt unreal, transparent. Everything seemed so perfect. He was perfect. I already missed him. I turned out the light, lit the candle in my window and climbed into bed. I lay still, then I turned on my side, then my other side, onmy back again. He was so marvelous! I lay on my stomach, i couldn't lie still, I couldn't sleep.
I heard a tap on the window, then another. What was it? A third time, more insistant it seemed. I got up and went to the window. There he was, illuminated by hte snow and the moonlight. I opened my window.
"Is this real?" I asked.
"Is anything real?" He replied.
"I certainly hope so."
"Come down, I missed you."
"Yes. Yes! I'm coming!"
I tiptoed down as quickly as possible; He was real, and so was the snow.

Friday, September 9

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Wake me up, when September ends.

Greenday