... My Heart!! "There Goes Another One, There goes..."

i don't think my heart can take much more of this. neither can Peggy's. if one more exciting/frightening thing happens to me again i will have a heart attack.

this is what happened:

i was at the barn, cleaning stalls. Bill and Avalon were out in the field. the field which has gates leading to the extremely, insanely busy road. Peggy was pulling the horse trailer in and Greenie was opening and closing the gates. Well Bill and Avalon slipped past the trailer and through the gates.

when i saw them my heart started beating so fast and i couldn't seem to get air in my lungs. I had had a dream once about Lady Astor and Lady Bug going out into the road and i couldn't get them back in, i woke up from that with my heart beating and i couldn't get back to sleep for a long time.

i was so scared when i saw them go. i've never been that scared. EVER. not when i thought i was going to be killed in the War Wagon, not when i thought i was going to be murdered in my home, not when i was rapelling down a 60' tower, not even when i thought i was going to drown in my neighbors pool. NEVER.

i grabbed a halter and i ran for the street. Greenie was standing in the road stopping traffic. thank the Potu they hadn't gotten hit. i think i would have killed myself had Avalon died. i would have felt terrible. told myself that if only i hadn't gone to the library and gotten those movies i might have gotten to the barn early enough to get the stalls done and have Avalon and Bill in their stalls before Peggy ever brought that fateful horse trailer through that gate.

fortunately there is nothing of much interest to a horse across the street. just parking lots and appartment buildings. Peggy chased them back.

I didn't stop shaking and my heart didn't stop racing for 15 minutes.

I love you Avalon