this sh*t is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s
it is isn't it? sometimes i feel so lost, so confused, so hopeless. where is this world going?? am i the only one who notices that this world might be going... down the toilet??? no... that's no fair, i can't say that, lots of my friends care about this world... and lots of them don't.
i hate this computer. i HATE it. you know why i hate it??? it is stealing my life!!! and i can't seem to do anything about it! when my family goes away the first thing i think about is getting on this f*cking computer. why do i do it???? i tell myself so many times that there are other things i should do, other ways to spend my time, more productive things... and yet i always gravitate towards this dark hole of a room with this miserable machine. it's terrible!! i hate it!!! I'm such a hypocrite!!
cell phones... thank The Potu we don't have one of those. i see people every day talking their lives away on a cell phone. they say they need it, that they couldn't live without it... well, were the people 100 years ago DEAD??? i have to say i think we're the dead ones. walking around on a georgious day texting our friends who happen to be 300 feet away from us. missing the grass turn green, missing the birds singing, missing the clouds soaring through the sky. do they ever wake up and say "where have i been?? what have i done?? where is my LIFE???"
life... what is it really??? why are we here?? what are we?? what is this place?? is there really such a thing as life? or are we mannequins swinging from strings, manipulated by some other being with a macabre sense of humor?? how can we know?? what if everything we "know" is all lies??? planted in our minds for the amusement of those other beings watching us running around, trying to figure it all out. are our feelings really feelings or just illusions?? is anything real???
nothing... is there such a thing as nothing?? how can there just be... nothing?? my mind can't even understand the concept. and yet... how can something go on forever??? i can't even begin to imagine forever. all this space of not being able to understand... doesn't it lead to the conclusion that there must be other dimensions? just as a two-dimensional person would never be able to grasp the concept of 3 dimensions, wouldn't it be impossible for us 3-d people to grasp the concept of a 4th dimension?? yes, it makes sense... but then it's all a game, i'm the mannequin.
i don't want to be a mannequin, a puppet, with no real choices of my own. i want to decide what i do, how i do it, when i do it, why i do it. most of the time it seems like that is how it works... but does it really??? or am i just given the illusion of having made my own choice. what a miserably depressing thought. if there is such a thing as depression and thought.
i want to do something for this world. i want to make a difference. so many people have told me that i can't. i'm only one person. "how could one person change the world?" They can!!!!! my whole being screams that they CAN!!!! why don't they understand???? one person can make a difference!! can change the world!!! just because everyone else votes for the democrats and the republicans doesn't mean that i should! they whole purpose of a democracy was that everyone would get a say. but you are not really having your say if you vote for someone who doesn't share your beliefs!!! if people voted for who really and truly represented their beliefs i think the country and the world would be a lot better off... if only because people were giving themselves the freedom to choose.
you can open the gate for a horse, but if he doesn't run out he isn't free. we are given the chance to share our beliefs, but we don't take that chance, we aren't free. we never will be if we keep this up. what the f*ck is wrong with us????
what you read influences your mind. if you read a book with lots of cussing (example: The Bourne Trilogy) you will begin thinking in cusswords. i am living proof of this.
"the innocent can never last"
Juene Fille de Chevals
posted by Nature's Daughter @ 6:29:00 PM
20 comments
20 Comments:
yep.
I know the feeling of being helpless, and also the one of the computer taking over your life! Not sure what to do about it...but hey.
honey, are you about to start your period?
no serously, i really do feel like that all the time. one person can change the world. one person could give a lecture to 200 people that would motivate the 200 people to save the rain forests.
actually i think i am going to start my period pretty soon. lol
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
i feel for ya roch! but i dont think ya'll are pmsing (okay, maybe just a little, lol,okay maybe a lot, but who doesn't)
but i think unlike some other people we all see the world just a little better. unfortunately that involves seeing those people not care, which ticks us off. i'm not exactly sure why, but i think we're just beginning to grasp the concept of life. living it to the fullest. watching others basically throw it down the drain and then being there to pick the person back up again and give them a constant source of love and support.
we need to be the support factor, remember? thats what we're doing with TIE. showing others what we feel matters.
as usual, call me beep me if ya wanna reach me.
~yellow ducky
tal, i would love to join your group of rebels on some remote island away from the idiocy of humanity!! as long as there are horses that is.
and it's nice to know that i'm not alone in my feelings of uselessness and hopelessness.
the innocent can never last
juene fille de chevals
lol. yes, there would be horses. when i am about twenty i will do it... if ever... you people are more than welcome to come! lol
wow. i didnt reread my comment and i had a lot of spelling errors. just ignore them for me, ok?
lol, rochwen, if you are that concerned about doing something with your life, edit this post, (actually you might wanna cut out the cuss words) and mail it to the local newspaper or SOMETHING. other ppls are probably feeling exactly like you (well, maybe not EXACTLY, but you know what I mean)so it would be good for them to hear the all out truth that most of them are denying......it really is an excellent peice of writing, if it makes you feel any better...
thanks!! i appreciate your support. the subjects are slightly disconnected though... lol
yeah, make your own news letter or something. and yes, cut out your little "********"s, they are... interesting.
Dath imvel an soniel Eana- aedel zial desith dath.
that meant something like: it is a wonderful world but we wreck it and stuff.
ok, i am deleting that stupid comment i put up. say good bye to my foolish jabbering....
I love your language that you make up EACH TIME ON THE SPUR OF THE MOMENT, tal.
no sarcasm, really =)
and rochwen, let your voice be heard! do what ruthie said, find better ways to express your anger than swearing ( please =)). buy pieces of rainforest, start or take part in fundraiseres to help out with national or global disasters, volunteer to do community service, use cars as little as possible - i know that you and T.i.e are doing a lot of these things, keep it up! don't listen to the people that say that you can't make a difference, because you TOTALLY can, and totally do! DON'T LET THE FOOLISH MEMBERS OF THE AMERICAN SOCIETY BRING YOU DOWN!
actually, I'm a little more concerned about something like... nuclear war? because people are really stupid and they think "oh, i'll go bomb iraq because i dont like them" or "Hey! let's bomb japan!" "America! Smash 'em." because if we stopped using cars and used more bikes and stopped messing up our air, the environment would naturally even out. but if we idiots decided to just bomb everything... that would be a little bad. a LOT bad. (ever go to ebaumsworld.com? well, they have this little movie thing, i saw it a loooooong time ago so i dont know if it is still on, but it is called something like 'the end of the world' and it is basically every body going around bombing eachother and a lot of interesting words... but though it was meant to be a joke, it is kinda like what might happen.) we would completely kill everything. and that would be bad. like...r eally bad. the sun is going to blow up in what, a few billion years from now? it is going to take like that long for the earth to recover from all that! ok. i know this sounds stupid. but people play computer games like runescape with all those castles and stuff. well, as it is a waste of your LIFE to do that and you enjoy doing it, why not just start a little village and do it in life? see how stupid that sounds?but that is really what i want to do. live in a little woodland village of stone houses and thatched roofs and hunt and fish and gather plants and... that is really why i play computer games. to do that. to live in a little world made my idiots.
ok, i have a somewhat random question. nobody will read this. but this comment is really bothering me. do you think that the world is created by us? do you think that what happens is the actions of a god/God or chance? like, the laws of the earth, what every0ou call them. like, i drop a leaf and it hits the ground. no, i jump and i fall. that is more like it.
i jump. the first thing i think is i will come back down. but recently i have been thinking stuff like "hey, what if i just DONT come back down? i dont really want to... i'll just stay up..." and if i truly believed it (i know, i sound like a nut, huh?) i might not come back down. what if the world is just human imagination? human imagination and energy? when offered 'wine' or 'beer' some people get very giddy and 'drunk' then you tell them "cut it out, it is just carbonated water and juice" then they made idiots out of themselves. but what if that is what drunk is? wanting to be like that? i was holding a walnut in my hand and thinking "what if i can shape this through thought?" is that witchcraft? magic? or reality? this is a little longer than i had wanted, i'll shut up.
One more thing. as a ************ human, i dont really know. but sometimes i feel like... i dunno, like i know what an animal is feeling? well, is that how animals talk? is an animals world what they think it is? is that how a cricket can jump 2 feet? because they know they can and they know they have to? waht if we can fly? ever have a dream where you were flying? BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOU CAN. i think that is what keeps you up in your dream. because i have had dreams (i know, iknow, just a dream) wehre i am flying and then i realize "wait- I Cant fly... AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" and i fall. well, i fall and wake up. but it is always when i realize that i cannot fly that i do not fly. i really think that the world might be like that. well, why not? because everyone says so? every one says you cant fly so that is why you cant? what if you can and you just need to know that to do it? i dont know, i guess i am just scaring every one, shutting up again.
*sigh* aren't 'humanoid' brains weird?
Tal!!! oh my gosh!! you sound just like me! i ask myself these questions ALL the time. i do believe that if you really truly believed with every cell in your body that you could fly, then you would. i believe that, but obviously i don't believe it enough. i believe that you could shape a walnut with your mind-if you believe with every part of your body. you CAN do what ever you want if you believe in it. you can fly, walk on water, communicate telepathically... anything. you could even travel to another universe or world if you really believed you could. but with all our modern technology and the lies of modern religions we are being taken farther and farther from our instincts and the ability to rely only on ourselves. i think your idea to have a village that provides for itself and doesn't use electricity or produce pollution is probably the best way of getting back to how we are supposed to be, are meant to be, should be. besides of course living in a cave all by yourself, miles from anyone, meditating often, watching and listening to animals... that is what i would LOVE to do, but i would miss human company, so a little village would be AWESOME.
you are NOT crazy Tal. don't think you are, you are one of the MOST sane people on this wacko planet. we NEED you.
*the innocent can never last*
Rochwen Eldariel
I'M ALIVE! BEING ALIVE IS GOOD! LIFE IS GOOD! LIFE IS HARD! WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A BAD TIME EVERYDAY! BUT THAT'S OK! CAUSE LIFE IS GOOD! LIFE IS GREAT! I AM ALIVE! I LOVE BEING HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!! I just felt the strangest calm come over me. now I feel like everything is just washing over me... it is going to be ok... my family is going to die... my pets are going to die... everything will abandon me... but that's ok, because life has its good points to.... and they balance each other out... so it will- OH MY GOD! THAT IS MY LLLIIIFFFEE?that is what life is? that ___.....
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