A saying comes to mind as I send my essay off to Phebe half an hour late.

'Procrastination Killed the Cat'

Why am I HERE???

I am convinced that before I was here I was sucked into a worm whole from one of the following places:

1. Middle Earth, where I was an elf named Rochwen and was engaged to Legolas when I "mysteriously" disappeared.

2. The Middle Ages where I was a woman who disguised herself as a man and became a knight before I "mysteriously" disappeared.

3. The 60s where I was a hippie, a supporter of female rights and a strong protester against the vietnam war, until I "mysteriously" disappeared.

I'm not really joking

The only place I cannot go is nowhere.

Evan Lysacek....

my hero

AND IT'S NOT JUST 'CAUSE HE'S HOTT!!

------------------------

Tanith Belbin and Ben Agosto...

I love them too!!

they are amazing skaters

and totally georgious people!

Daydreams... they just prove that I am never safe...

he was so georgious. That was the only way to put it. And he was mine. All mine and no one elses. He was coming closer, I could feel his breath on my skin smell his pine smell. He whispered in my ear, "I want you." My heart jumped.... with fear. Before my eyes his clothes had been transformed, he was now wearing red, white and blue and a huge, tall red and white striped hat. He was still georgious, he would be georgious not matter what he wore. But he was smiling in the most terrible way.




"I want you... for the US army!" he bellowed.



NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I screamed.



but it was too late.



He had taken my soul.

What???

I have been reading this book, it is called "Yes, your parents are crazy! A teen survival guide" It is not just about dealing with parents. It's about pretty much every problem and difficulty and change that comes with being a teen. It is very good, I highly recommend it. I actually wish I had had it about 2-3 years ago, I think I might have gotten through the past few years with less scars. Oh well, I still have time to heal.

I am getting off subject though. One of the sections in the book (yes, your parents are crazy) is about sexual orientation... Hmm... how do I start this. Well, personally, I think there is nothing wrong with gay (when I say "gay" I mean lesbian, gay or bisexual) people. They were born that way, there is nothing they can do about it. And why would someone "choose" to be gay when they are so heavily persecuted? Besides, I can't just wake up tomorrow and say, "hey, I've decided that I want to be a lesbian!" it doesn't work that way. I am how I am and I couldn't change it even if I wanted to.

In the book there is a story about this kid who was leaving a school dance when he was grabbed, had a pillowcase pulled over his head and then all these people started kicking him. He was eventually knocked out. When he woke up he was in a different place, tied up, with the pillowcase still over his head. He heard people and then someone came and shoved a gun against his head, saying something like: you're a fag so we're gonna kill you. The guy pulled the trigger. For whatever reason nothing happened, perhaps the gun was fake or broken. The point is that people are BEATEN and KILLED just because they have a different sexual orientation than the majority of people. Is that messed up or WHAT??

I used to sort of think that being gay was wrong, just because it seemed like everyone around me thought it was wrong. Then I started to realise that that was NOT what I believed.

The wierd thing is that during our Anatomy and Physiology class we somehow got onto the subject of gays. No one was saying anything really horrible about them, but they were subtly saying that they thought there was something wrong with them. (besides I already know from past conversations that these particular people do NOT think being gay is ok) I was not saying anything because I have found that my best option on these occasions is to keep my mouth shut, otherwise I tend to get angry) and V of course noticed, because she notices this sort of thing and she asked if their conversation was bothering me. No, not really (excuse me... liar!) but I didn't have a problem with them, I didn't think they had a choice and I certainly didn't think there was anything wrong with them.

This of course sparked a religious discussion. I found out that at V's church a gay would probably not be accepted. They would be turned aside. The pastor would talk to the person and say, "well, you can accept Christ as your savior, but as long as you are gay it doesn't matter what you do; you're going to Hell". Basically V was saying that God loves everyone, Christ loves everyone, but it doesn't matter how good you are, how kind you are, how much you love christ, if you are gay you can expect to spend eternity burning in the fires of Hell.

This really bothers me. It doesn't make sense. It just doesn't make sense to me. How can God love everyone yet send some of them to eternal pain and suffering in Hell??

V tried to compare God to parents. She said that sometimes parents get mad at you, but they still love you. I asked, "Do they send you to Hell when they get mad at you?". Unfortunately she didn't have an answer for that one. And unfortunately our teacher came in and cut off our conversation.

Now, my head is kind of messed up right now since my brain is currently being "wired" so I can't really put into words my thoughts about this.

But I know for myself that it doesn't make sense for Hell to exist. And if it did exist it doesn't make sense that a God who loved everyone would send anyone to Hell. It also makes no sense that God would send people to eternal suffering just because they liked people of the same sex. To me this is just plain WRONG.

What is so "wrong" with being gay?? It doesn't harm anyone. Why do so many have a problem with it?

What I would like to ask V is, "What if I told you I was gay? and what if it was true? Would you hate me forever? Would you persecute me and tell cruel jokes about me behind my back? Would you hate someone who you called your friend just because she was brave enough to come out and tell you she was gay?"

I just don't understand.

"Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream."

- George W. Bush -

this is one reason to love Bush...

>Morquen<

the reason for the change... well, one of them

aren't we the same as them if we go around bashing them? yes, we probably are. and yes, it is fun, but instead of thinking and saying "stop war! we hate war!" why don't we say, "peace! peace starts now!! we love peace!" doesn't that seem better?? it seems better to me. of course, i am sure i'll have some days when i just need to vent, and i'm sure that's fine. pent up feelings of frustration and anger are only harmful if they are kept inside. but why put energy into hating when you can put it into loving?

just something to think about.

and you know, if you can't think of any reason to love Bush.... then don't have any feelings towards him.

- Kalquen -

stupid essay!!!!! argh!!

it is almost done though

if i can find something good about Korea in current events.

geez, the korean war was so dumb!!!

ugh, it could so easily have become World War III

why is it that I am always the one that rights long essays??

are they boring?

do people hate them??

because it really would be a waste of time if i was writing five pages essays that people hated....

well, i've got to go.

gotta find out why North Korea has nuclear weapons.

actually I already know

I found a quote:

it's because of the US

can you blame them?

they are trying to protect themselves.

I don't blame them.

"axis of evil" indeed

thanks Bush

Guess what happened today!!!!!!!






























I fell in love!!!!!!!!











































With...









life!!!!!!!!