**!!HELP!!**
Rochwen is in MAJOR need of "Introducing Yourself To Boys 101" and "Flirting 101"!!!!
Why?? Of course these are always skills which I am in need of. Actually, the best on would be "have a Non-Awkward Conversation with a Boy You Would like To Get To Know 101". You see, my greates fear is that i would introduce myself to him and then i wouldn't know what to say until he finally just made some excuse for having to go over and talk to Luke, and that would be horrible! I need to have some confidance.... *sigh* i don't want to be like this forever! Every year i tell myself that i'll get better, but it never happens, i need to MAKE it happen.
The guy i want to introduce myself to, is Jacob Shoemaker. He is in my bro's BS (Boy Scouts! what were you thinking?) troop, he is 15 or 16 according to my bro. He is also pretty good looking, homeschooled, funny (or so i've heard) and nice. And from my instincts and what little i know he is dependable and hard working. he lives in Fulton county... Fulton county Fair! i'll be there next year!! if i have to walk!! He lives on a farm too.... his father used to do Aikido and is very nice....
I am not in love with him... but were i to get to know him... i think i would be...
After the BS (Boy Scouts!! what were you thinking???) award ceremony last night, he looked me right in the eyes and smiled! i know, i know... i sound silly, but i don't care. "'Cause i'm alright i'm fine! Just freak out, let it go!"
*the innocent can never last*
Rochwen Eldariel
posted by Nature's Daughter @ 6:11:00 PM
6 comments
6 Comments:
Seriously? *evil grin* Ok. I lack experience so don't listen to me. I just want to add to the post. *innocent smile*
1. Do NOT flirt. That will scare him away or make him chase you and you do NOT want that relationship. Seriously.
2. Do NOT wear anything to catch his eye or do any of that stupid stuff with your legs. That will make him notice you but you don't want him to notice you for that. (not that i think you would. i'm just jabbering)
3. Wait for an opportunity which allows you to ask a reasonable question or just talk to him. If you are in a group of people together that will make this a lot easier, someone says something, you both add to the conversation and -Tah Dah!- you are there. Now you just have to keep that up.
4. Don't do the stalker thing. Find out about him to see what he likes/dislikes but do not change your beliefs to agree with him. Some guys (the ones I know) sense that and that will either a) wreck relationship or b) he'll fall for it and you'll be miserable.
5. Don't majorly go out of your way to talk to him. Yes, I know I'm just a little kid and most people my age are not plagued with the awkward... i dunno, 'sexual tension' but talking to someone who is in the same room with me is usually not awkward. UNLESS YOU'RE ALONE.
6. Greeting someone is normal. But getting alone can be very, very, very awkward. avoid it until you are very friendly.
7. Unless it feels right, don't try to hold a really long or interesting conversation. Just say 'Hi, how are you?' 'Good, you?' and if you want, say 'fine' and walk away OR say 'I'm ok but my dog just chewed my brothers hand off so i have to keep visiting him in the ER, he's been there for about 5 months...' or something to get his attention. Either keep talking and YOU be the one to leave or wait for him to leave. If you leave it might make him want to follow you or you might annoy him and scare him away. I think he'd want to follow you but again, i lack experience so i really dont know.
8. After the 'greeting' you are able to unawkwardly approach him. Well, that's the theory. But don't make an idiot of yourself. Hold a conversation with him as you would with anyone else, he doesn't want to hear 'um... uh... that's a pretty horse...' say something more interesting. But don't TRY to be interesting. If you have nothing to say, say nothing at all. Just do what feels right...
hahahahahahahahahahah
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I just said the same stupid thing over and over again... hahaha...
Oh yeah, think of all guys as people, not things to date. it'll make your life easier. Note all small flaws (plays on the computer too much, hates dogs, etc) because if you can't stand them now (i know you know this...) you won't later and will not be in a happy relationship. if you're just friends it doesn't matter but bfgf it makes a big difference.\
I talk to much.
I agree with tal on some points but not all. I think if you like this guy, it is a good idea to flirt to let him know that you are interested. Eye contact is very essential too. I would make sure that I looked directly into his eyes everytime I talked to him. I don't mean to wallow in his eyes and stare at them dreamily. But just look at him confidently, you know? Even if you have to pretend to be confident. I do it all the time.
I agree, you shouldn't change your clothing style to impress him. If you give him the wrong idea about who you are than that could effect your future relationship.
Now, on #3, I don't agree. I think that if you just wait for an opportunity, one could never come. You have to be a little bold. I think that this part largely depends on the circumstances that surround it. If you get a chance to talk to him, like tal said, take it. But if you don't, and you feel you are waiting around, you should assert yourself and let him know that you have noticed him. Remember, he's nervous too, so like as not, he's gonna want you to make the first move, the lazy bugger.
Yeah, do NOT stalk. I don't think flirting will scare him but stalking will. And if you always take his side and agree with him, it makes conversations seem bland. Controversy is a good thing. You can sort of play argue and that opens up a really great time to make jokes on both of your parts. You have a really good laugh so make sure that you use it to your advantage. I'm not saying to laugh at all his jokes, just the really funny ones, you know?
If you feel that there is mutual attraction, than maybe you should sorta go out of your way to talk with him. It is awkward to be talking to a guy alone but just think about this: a guy is not gonna ask you out or kiss you in a room full of people or in front of a group of friends unless he's out of his mind with egotism. What I'm saying is, don't try to be alone with him in rooms, but don't run away from good memories and opportunities.
I know greetings may be awkward when you don't know someone that well, but if you feel comfortable enough, say hi to him. This could develope a relationship/friendship. I think that this is a form of sorta reaching out to him in the first stages of getting to know him. If he knows you by saying hi to him a lot, than he will be more likely to start a conversation with you because he's seen and talked to you before.
I agree with tal here. If you still feel really awkward around him, than don't try to engage him too much. What if you both couldn't think of anything to say? It might leave a bad impression. But once you start feeling comfortable around him, than you should make the effort. It could pay off later. Also, like "my dog chewed my brother's hand off", sarcastic and funny remarks on a guy who has a sense of humor, I think makes him notice you more. If you make him laugh, I think that's REALLY good. He won't forget it either.
And guys are guys, so treat them like that. Not like gods, not like things to be worshipped (like...um...gods...) but as guys. And realize that it isn't such a horrible thing to be unable to smoothly talk to guys. Maybe you'll be too shy to talk to some guys but maybe in the future, a guy who likes you will realize he has to make the first step and does it because he likes you so much!! If he does this, it makes it easier to see that he has noticed you and is interested in you!
Finally, if it doesn't work out with this guy, don't worry. It's not you because your a great person and I'm sure there will be many guys in your life who would die for you, or whatever! Everyone says there's a person out there for everyone, but I think that there's everyone out there for everyone. If one person doesn't fit, than go back to the shoe store, and buy a new pair, maybe a little more expensive, pair, capiche?
Look at this novel!! And to think, another guy would have said, "Put your arm around her and see if you can touch her boobs, man!"
*Kumsumnida
thanks you guys!! i think you both had really good advice. of course the whole thing about him probably being as nervous as me i have thought of many times *sigh* but there is something wrong with my brain or something because i'm still like "omg, omg omg omg, OMG!! it's a boy!! whatamigonnado???"
but yes, i need to take the annitiative and introduce myself to him. otherwise i'm gonna be single FOREVER!
and being a hooker doesn's count... as not being single. lol
Rochwen Eldariel
Ok, about the #1. I said not to flirt with him because that's a little pushy and you (in my opinion)should become friendly before flirty. flirt AFTER you know eachother. not before. but if you want to make an idiot of yourself, go ahead. just don't be surprised if it turns out badly. and #3 "...Wait for an opportunity which allows you to ask a reasonable question OR JUST TALK TO HIM." But- (today i had an opportunity thing, this guy {who's about my age}'talked' to me. only thing is, i didn't plan it. I just said 'Hi' and we were in a long conversation- 30 minutes actually. and it was an opportunity, i didn't just walk up to him and start talking, we were both waiting THEN we talked. and it's not like that!)
walking up to them for no reason is just weird. then he knows you are interested and that's very bad if he's not. i'm just saying what you should do if you dont want to make an idiot of yourself. now, walking up to the table to get more food where he just HAPPENS to be is an opportunity that won't be too awkward. well, if you do everything right. and i dont know what that everything is, tell me when you find out. so i am just saying you shouldn't go bigtime out of your way to talk to him. that is just a little too pushy. even a smile should do it. walk up beside him, smile, walk away... I'm just saying what i think would be least awkward. Because i can't imagine a good walk up scene. or walk up flirt scene. but a bump into eachother talk/flirt scene is understandable. but actually talk before the flirt. don't try to impress, scare or anything else him. just get him to minorly notice you but not creepy notice you. ok, that came out wrong. i hope you understand what i was trying to say...Don't ACT like you want him to see you. act normal. be you so he can see what he's 'dealing' with.
*sigh* so much for giving advice...
The Drunken Elf
oh yeah- another thing. if he has any borthers/sisters, meet them because they might introduce you to him and being friendly with his family is a plus. Odds are they won't ask you to meet him but you can pretend you don't have a clue who he is... but that is risky so becareful. or.... get your bro to set you up. but that is REALLY risky and i wouldn't do it myself so don't do it. you don't want your family in your 'lovelife' if you ever get one. (i'm kidding! dont kill me, please)
so... that's about it...
wow. hmmm, not much i would say on this that hasn't already been said! Pretty much my advice is: what is life with no risk?
of course, I'm a fine one to talk.
~luvs!~
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